A WORD WITH YOU

DEAR Employees, THIS IS THE TIME OF JOY AND SHARING. THE NEW YEAR COUNT DOWN STARTS FROM NOW. WHY ALWAYS WE SHOULD THINK SERIOUSLY???!!!. HE...

DEAR Employees,

THIS IS THE TIME OF JOY AND SHARING. THE NEW YEAR COUNT DOWN STARTS FROM NOW. WHY ALWAYS WE SHOULD THINK SERIOUSLY???!!!. HERE ARE SOME JOKES I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU. BE HAPPY.

The Donkey and the Dog New Story

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. 
The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.  
The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. 
The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.  
Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
 Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"  

Now take a new look at the same story...  
The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. 
He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it.Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations) . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as " star performer".
 The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ...

·                     Management funda

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it” 
2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you” 
3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same”
4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done “At least not tomorrow!” 
5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do” 
6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied” 

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”
8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”
9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliveron time.” 
10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”
11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can helpyou” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me” 
12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!” 
13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is” 
14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…” 
15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed” 
16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”
17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

Courtesy : http://postmastermaharashtra.blogspot.com